This past weekend was San Diego Comic Con! So naturally that means we have been inundated with all things nerdy and geektastic from casting announcements, inside looks, and title reveals to ALL THE TRAILERS.
So many trailers.
The Moose were not in attendance, but we obviously followed eagerly along with every bit of news and watched all the trailers coming east through the wonders of the internet.
And obviously we have thoughts. So we picked six of the trailers on which to practice some classic Moose rapid-fire commentary!
So, let’s get started, shall we?
Brad: There were at least three jokes in that trailer, and there were colors… This…this is a DC movie right?
Hanna: One sword dress for me please!
Clarice: One glowing lasso for me!
Cole: Love the sword dress and the Lasso of Truth, but I want to know when and where she gets her invisible plane…
Cole: This. Looks. So. SERIOUS AND BORING.
Hanna: This seems to be screaming: “I WANT TO BE COOL!” But at least someone smiled? Baby steps, DC, baby steps.
Brad: Oh god I forgot about auto-tune Batman and they made me listen to it agaaaain why? WHY?????
Clarice: Hahaha! Guys! Guys! Didya see they made Aquaman EXTRA SUPER ULTRA MANLY??? HE DRINKS STRAIGHT FROM BOTTLES!!
King Arthur: Legend of the Sword
Hanna: All is darkness. There is no god. I hate everything. 1
Clarice: *whispers into the void* I think Jude Law looks kind of cracktabulous…
Cole: Wow. Just… wow this looks bad. But I will second that Jude Law looks FAB.
Brad: Man I can just start writing the Bad Movies with Brad article now…
Kong: Skull Island
Hanna: What a magical fuckery of effects and casting! Huzzah, Marc Evan Jackson!
Clarice: Aw man Hiddleston really wants you to look at his biceps, doesn’t he? Also: huzzah, Marc Evan Jackson!
Cole: It’s okay Brie Larson! Better things are on the horizon!
Brad: Yeah, Cole! Actually screw Kong: Vietnam, I’m going to talk about something happy. Brie Larson, oh my lovely Envy Adams, you get to be Captain Marvel and I’m so happy!!
Luke Cage Season 1 (debuts September 30th on Netflix)
Clarice: Ok — any bets now on how many large things he rips out/off in order to use for bashing over the course of the show?
Hanna: Did not love Luke Cage’s fight work in Jessica Jones. Am loving what he has in the trailer. Was excited before and more excited now.
Brad: Even more excited now. It even makes me think they can make white guy kung-fu work in Iron Fist.
Cole: Was already excited for this. More excited now, but a wee bit sad the trailer is light on Misty Knight.
Legion (debuts 2017 on FX)
Clarice: EEEEEEE!!! *ecstatic new-Noah-Hawley-show flail* (please don’t suck please don’t suck please don’t suck…)
Brad: Leave it to Fox to take one of the dumbest X-Men characters and make him into probably the best X-Men thing (maybe). Yet Phoenix is haaaard.
Cole: Damn this looks good. Tangential X-Men with an awesome cast and Noah Hawley at the helm? I’M IN!
Hanna: Yup. In. Sold.
So the tally is this: The Moose are apparently on board for Wonder Woman! Huzzah! Less so for Justice League (no surprise there.) DEFINITELY not there for King Arthur: Legend of the Sword (except for Fabulous Jude Law – at least 50% of the Moose are very much here for that.) We are bemused by the ridiculous Kong: Skull Island (but will totally be going to see it!) And the TV side just might take the cake because we are so ready for Luke Cage and Legion!
- I have a thing for King Arthur legends. I grew up on The Once and Future King — which itself is an occasionally anachronistic reinterpretation of the myths — and I have yet to see a version that has anything near the same love and creativity grace the screen. I adore Arthur and Camelot and this promises to be yet another entry in the “Nope!” column of my “Worthwhile Adaptations Ledger.” That aside, this still looks dreadful — like someone raised on bad 80s fantasy movies saw the Hobbit films and got their hands on way more money than they ought to.