The Killer Moose, like many writers, are governed by various feline
housemates overlords. Meet the Killer Moose kitty-cats!
Also known as Lady T, Princess and KITTY CAT!
Touchstone is queen of all she surveys — partially because she’s the only cat of her house and partially because she’s actually queen of everything. People will realize that soon. She’s super cuddly, super pretty and super adept at not leaving you alone in the morning when all you want is ten more minutes of sleep, but it’s breakfast time, so no.
She is most likely to be found curled in her bed, under the blankets or putting her claws daintily in your leg.
Her name comes from Shakespeare and from Garth Nix’s Sabriel.
Also known as the troublesome fluff-monster with the memory of a brain-damaged goldfish.
Daphne’s job is house Mother Cat — cleaning everyone, keeping them in line, and running to greet every guest that walks through the door. But she is also the cat that routinely gets into the most mischief. Problem being, she is usually too cute to be angry at for long.
She is most likely to be found crawling inside boxes she can’t fit into or into cupboards she shouldn’t be in, burrowing herself in piles of just-cleaned clothes, or trying to knock over your water glass.
Her name comes from Some Like It Hot.
Also known as the softest and prettiest stink beast.
Do not let Josephine’s silky looks and demure demeanor fool you — she will bomb you with the smelliest cat farts you will ever inhale. It’s a shame because she is an extremely friendly, sweet, and polite kitty who adorably chirrups whenever she comes to cuddle with you (which is constantly).
She is most likely to be found wherever you don’t want her to be, whenever you don’t want her, purring while she gets her pale, wispy fur all over everything… And then you find yourself stink-bombed.
Her name, just like her sister’s above, is due to Some Like It Hot.
Also known as ‘the handsome and dapper one.’
Batesman is the house’s noble guardian against the nefarious vacuum. He is also the community crier (so to speak) in that his other duty is to chatter loudly and incessantly about anything and everything (usually at his mom when she is in the kitchen or in her office). He can be very affectionate; however, being a pathetic momma’s boy cat, he is rarely concerned with acknowledging any other human being that is not her. She repays this loyalty by making him wear bowties. A lot.
He is most likely to be found sleeping on top of, or near, his mom… or sitting in the kitchen while she is cooking and telling her all about very! important! things!
He is named for Norman Bates.
Also known as Q-Brick, Q-Whale, Q-Beast, Q-Loaf, and any and all manner of “Q” puns…
Unlike his handsome brother above, Q a weird-looking, dense meatloaf of cat who nervously slinks, lurks, and sits on the edges of rooms, watching. Much like a fat gargoyle (if that gargoyle also drooled all the time). He does not warm up to people quickly; but once he does he will pester and shed and drool on his new best friend nonstop. He is also very good at standing on his hind legs like a circus bear.
He is most likely to be found meowing to be picked up and cuddled like baby.
He came with his name, and it just sorta stuck.
Also known as The Gargoyle and the Protector of the Bookshelf.
Godric is the stone gargoyle that guard’s Cole’s bedroom night and day. Silent, stony and extremely loyal he never leaves his post. He takes his job very seriously. If he ever does shed his stone form, he always does so unseen, though Cole is convinced he does so to patrol the bedroom at night. Though one day he hopes to have a kitty of his very own, who Godric will also watch and protect, Cole is currently content with his steadfast gargoyle.
He is most likely to be found sitting on the top corner of the bookshelf/headboard, surveying the bedroom.
His name does not come from Harry Potter or True Blood—it started with a “G” and sounded cool.